I personally don’t have anything against freelance designers, I’m pretty much as freelance as they get, but a friend of mine recently hired a freelance graphic designer for a small job, mainly because I was down with the flu and she was too shy to call the office and ask for one of my designers.

Her experience fell in the “I hate freelancers” category which to me was a low blow. I have always tried my best to keep the freelancing general reputation (on my end anyway) as high as possible, but some people, some low life good for nothing design bums have to go and add to the bad name that is slowly being forced upon the freelance community.

To all you new freelance designers out there, please read the following tips with care and carve into the inside of your eyelids;

If you don’t know your clients Gender, for the love of everything holy do NOT guess. After my friend and the Freelance Designer (who i shall call Design Bum here on in) emailed a few times, Design Bum called her, and asked for Mr Murphy. She was at work, and simply said “There is no Mr Murphy.” To which he replies “Oh alright, I thought you were a man.” What a moron, a sexist assumption like this could loose any freelancer a client, in a heart beat. Be careful when talking to a client, word things right, take your time, think before you spit bull shit out of your mouth.

Follow the clients instructions to the bone. Don’t cut corners, don’t be creative, don’t crap where you eat, you’re a designer, not fucking Houdini. Client has a vision, but does not know how to bring it to life, as a designer, that is you job. Sure, sometimes you will see a fatal mistake or decision the client is making, as a designer, it is your obligation to note that so and so could be done in a more efficient way, or adding something here or there would be to the clients interest. Give feedback because the client will feel better that way. Why else would they be paying?!

DO NOT take jobs if you can not meet a clients deadline. This is a big NO NO. The client has a deadline, you don’t meet that deadline the client looses time and money, now instead of helping the client profit, and making money off the project, you’re hurting the client and with any luck will not get paid. Simple math, are you freelancers following me here? 1 + 1 = 2. yes, 2 not 8 or 0.827, just fucking 2. Client says blue text you do the text blue.

Remember, if you run out of time and you’re not done yet, tell the client, don’t hide it and play them for fools. They know what they want, so if it’s not there or not finished they’ll notice!

Don’t rip other peoples work. I wont go into detail on this because I plan to make a full blog post later on this very same matter, but remember, rip a template, you hurt the client and end up loosing all credibility. After being found out you might as ell just kill yourself. Gun to the head, pull trigger.

Just be honest and make a decent living and name for yourself - Michael Kane